Hi Beverly, I am so sorry that you are going through such heartache all at once. You must be a very strong soul, or have a very large mission in life. I have been through so much death and heartache myself over my lifetime, so I know where you are. I know it feels hopeless and overwhelming at times, and it is a long road to recovery.. But there are things that helped me more than others.. The most important thing that helped me is realizing that i'm still here for a reason.. and I made it my mission to find out what that was. Counseling early on didn't help me, I found that every time I shared my story I relived all the pain, making it even more real and overwhelming for me. I got a lot more relief from hypnosis, it helped me separate myself from the pain so i could deal with it easier. and as I healed and the time passed, I found it easier and easier to talk about it and tell my story. I also recently found a new procedure called Ketamine micro drip. This Drug is now being administered under medical supervision, to treat depression, and is also being used in the military to treat stress and PTST. I had these treatments to help deal with all my PTST, grief, and depression. I can tell you, it made a dramatic difference! there are many studies coming out on this treatment that you can look up on the internet. I highly suggest it! it helps change the receptors in the brain, so you can perceive things differently. I wish you all the strength in the world, and that you heal quickly!