Four Fallacies When Identifying Yourself as Bisexual

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Have you ever found yourself being attracted by someone of the same sex/gender? Are you wondering if bisexual is the right label for you? Determining one’s sexuality is not easy, and it’s getting harder because of these popular fallacies. Knowing them can help you identify yourself.



You have to experience similar attraction across genders to be a bisexual


Wrong. The first thing you need to know is that gender isn't binary. It’s normal to have attractions to any (and all) genders but you don't have to be attracted to all genders to be bisexual. Orientation, behavior, and identity are the three aspects determining our sexuality. You can find your tendency by asking yourself the following questions:


· Who gives you heart-eye emoji feelings?

· Who do you tend to engage with?

· What labels do you apply to yourself?



These aspects of your sexuality don’t have to “match” in order to be valid. In fact, the answers vary in many cases. However, so long as there’s one answer that leads to a different gender, you may begin to consider your real sexuality.


You have to have had sex with multiple genders to know whether you're bisexual


Wrong. Real sex isn’t necessary. Sexual fantasy can also be a reliable indication of our behavioral desires. You may masturbate to the idea of having sex with multiple genders, or just imagine it in your brain, or watch pornography that features multiple genders, but not necessarily want to engage in sex with them for real. But still, you’re a bisexual.



You have to be bi-romantic to identify as bisexual


Wrong. It may happen to many people who experience bisexuality, but it's not a necessary condition. According to the split attraction model, sexual and romantic attractions are separated for some people. They may be sexually attracted to multiple genders but have romantic feelings with only one gender. And this can also work the other way around. It’s totally valid.


It’s just a universal and frivolous attraction among females


Wrong. A myth many women often hear is that all women are at least kind of attracted to women – a universal and frivolous attraction which is invalid to make you queer. That’s clearly a misleading message. Worse, it may lead to an imprudent decision when a woman accepts that message as truth and stops considering bisexuality as an identity even though she is experiencing attraction to multiple genders.



Bisexuality is a complex identity. It’s quite valid to present in different ways. If those fallacies have ever confused you, throw them away and call yourself a bisexual if you want to.

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