What Is Borderline Split Personality Disorder?

3 Answers

These messages are for mutual support and information sharing only. Always consult your doctor before trying anything you read here.
I get worse when I'm alone.  I try not to be alone.  I work 2 full-time jobs: a music teacher during the week, taking care of  3 mentally disabled adults on the weekend. I even run my own soap and craft business in the evening.  My father had abused me when I was young and I think 2 of his military buddies. My friends at school knew me as crazy Carol,  but I was someone else when I got home.  Sometimes I can talk with a southern slang. I recently caught myself using a British accent with my music students. I didn't realize I was doing it, until one of my students asked me why I was talking that way. That was embarrassing.   I can't do the British accent, if I try forcing it for my kids at home.  If I feel threatened or something intensely stressful happens,  my memory goes blank, and I can't remember anything.  When I'm alone I find myself rocking,  crying or talking to myself.  Those symptoms go away as soon as I am not alone. Thereby I try real hard to stay busy. I finally set up an appointment in January to get tested. I have Bachelor's degree. I am smart,  determined,  and I will not be defined by the trauma from my past. I think I'm getting worse. I don't want to lose control.  I love my jobs and kids.  I'm trying to love my husband and forgive him for hurting me and betraying me like my father.  Ahha, that's my trigger. Oh my gosh, I just figured it out. Meanwhile,  I know I'm eccentric, and I have a hard time getting close to others. I am trying to figure myself out. So, I started researching.  I am thinking I might have the split personality.  Depending on who's around me and how they view me, depends on how I act.
I am so sorry to hear your problem. life is hard, bad things happen to us. Try to make friends and talk about your problem. maybe a shrink can help . Do you have any AA group in your community, try to find a group. Try to stay positive. Don't doubt your value in the society and family . Keep yourself away from people who hurts you. you can live well. Trust yourself.
Dear Carol, reading your notes drives me in tears. In this network where no one knows me, I would share my life. In college I was forced to have sex with this guy, but I didn't call the police, I didn't tell anyone about this. After that I was lost, for many years. I used to be a brilliant girl, after that I lost the passion for everything. And I had poor marriage, I married a guy who is obviously not good enough for me, and he was so so rude to me. I was anxious all the time, then I started to have health problems one after another. On day, I realized I can't handle my life any more, I started to see a psychologist regularly. By talking to her, I realized what's wrong with me. In a dark room I cried for hours, for everything that's happened, but I realized I have to cry out, have to admit those bad things happened, but I still have a chance to live well. I'm living fine now, although sometimes I would be sensitive, I'm basically stable. What I want to say is that we need to accept what happened, then move on. Someone did bad thing to me, but it's over, and I deserve a good life. Even being alone, I'm good enough to live a good life. What doesn't kill me makes me stronger.
I have BPD.  I was just formally diagnosis last December.  Reading what you wrote makes me feel like I am looking in a mirror.  My BPD has caused me major life problems.  My daughter doesn't want anything to do with me and it is causing me great distress.  The worst thing for people with BPD is abandonment and that is all I feel from her.  She says she loves me and all I feel is hatred.  I don't believe she loves me.  She says she does and then she wants nothing to do with me.  Doesn't want to spend any time with me.  I feel crazy on a daily basis.  Getting through each and every day is a struggle.  No one understands me or what I go through.  They just see erratic behavior and don't understand why.  I feel like I have monsters in my head.  I am extremely emotional.  I cry at everything.  I went through 8 weeks of intense therapy to help with this disorder and I don't feel like it helped or works.  I have done everything at this point I can think of to try and make myself better.  I have my job and I feel so low at times all I want to do is end the pain.  But on good side, I have a husband and son who love me unconditional unlike my daughter.    I feel helpless, I feel hopeless.  So what I am saying is that I feel you pain.
My mother was diagnosed of BPD 3 years ago. I think she has been crazy and there was a time I really didn't want to talk to her because she was  thinking about things so extremely and didn't even hear my speaking. But I also feel sympathy as well as puzzle because I really don't know what to do for her. She told me sometimes her friends in no longer ask her out for no reason and she thought she will soon die for she was becoming more and more bony owing to a disease and the stones in her body. But I am not a doctor and I don't know what can be done to help her, so I can just listen to her. Moreover, there was a time she thought our family was preparing to abandon her, so she started to hurt herself and exclaim at home...
Well, I have this problem and I think I am having severe symptoms. I do believe that nobody likes me and I feel everyone was talking bad about  me. My friend said I was paranoid and I now avoid social events because I have no good relationship with others, including my family. Moreover, I cut myself, about 4-7 times a week. I cannot stop it myself but I am afraid to see a doctor because I don't want them to tell my parents about it. The problem is that I am now only 14 and I am not sure whether it will cause any problems to my future life. Also, I don't know whether it is really a disease or natural during the puberty.
Amen!live on and live well! Enjoy life and forget all the bad, just go out there and make yourself great new happy memories!! Start today!!!
I so sorry to hear so many in pain. I am also. I told my friend that I just ‘mismanaged’ my life. She can’t relate to my illness. Says I just need a job but something keeps me doing the same thing over and over day after day and thinking one of these times the therapist doctor friends family will tell me what to do and then all of this will be over. I’m stuck inside afraid to go out and judging myself constantly. Don’t want to go places with my adult kids for fear of saying the wrong thing to someone and embarrassing them. Don’t want to be stuck here in pain anymore
Jori, I'm sorry to say this but please please don't listen to your friend. She said something wrong, and, in a wrong way. She can't relate to your illness, so she can't tell how hard it would be for you. It will never be easy. SAD FACT: A job or whatever else would not  make you feel all of this will be over. That's not the point. IT'S THE DISEASE. You need meds, therapy, love and care for yourself, and so on. It's a disease, and you'll be able to learn to be equipped well to fight against it. Don't give up.
Hello dear,
 I went thru and at times still go through what you are.  What you're describing sounds like bpd. Cutting is a symptom.  For me it was letting all the bad thoughts and emotions leave. As soon as I saw the red,  I felt at peace.  But the good news is that it is treatable with therapy and with some ppl meds. Good luck my dear you have a bright future waiting for you.
It will hurt you in the future and you have to get help. If you are only 14 and you're harming yourself. It needs to be addressed or it will lead to continuing to feel bad. Low self worth and self harming behaviors if not taken care of when you are young can lead into you avoiding people and feeling like you have no future. If you don't try to take care of it while you are young it can lead to a very damaging adult life.
I’m so sorry that you’ve been going through this painful, heart breaking, situation. I’ve been trying to fight my own demons since I’ve been 15, and I know that it’s scary and you feel alone. I’m 53 years old and I’m still in therapy because I just can’t get past what happened to me all those years ago by my cousins, 3 of them. Half the time I go to bed one person and get up someone else, I’ve become a excellent actress, hopefully you can overcome this problem one day soon, be strong, much love.
Many of us with so called “mental disorders” are never told about our extra sensitivities (feeling, seeing, hearing, knowing more than others) I advise you look into this. Many beautiful souls on this page just need to release their trauma and those same many might not realize that they have the power to do so themselves. You may very well be feeling more than your mind believes you should (based off of past lives and human conditioning in your current reality) and your ego is in fight or flight mode. I feel compelled to let you know to look into the unseen, esoteric, ancient beliefs and cultures. You may find what you’ve been looking for.
AA? Howd u get that?
My personalities are some times aware if the others but never of what they are doing when they are front an center.. I have lost days an nights an woke to unknown circumstances. Have had flashbacks of memories that don't seem to be of my own. I've experienced a waking dream an a few other things which caused my knowing of my disorder.
You chould see a Psychiatrist. It sounds serious and proper care is needed.
Reading the comments came to this one and scares me sounds like exactly what I've tried discribing to family or a doctor, I've learned over the years one amazing thing if you know or can find something you'd fight for or care about so much like my thing is my daughter.. that little girl has saved my life more than once and she's only seven I don't know if therpy works or not I don't really believe in it but I hope you find your way I truly do living like that is so lonely and scary, and painfull. I hope you find your way take care, don't stop looking for your way. You will find it
Can they really fall in love
It depends on how you define "LOVE"...
All of you people need to find a doctor. If your parents won't do it, do it yourself. Then take the meds from your doctor...and don't give up...the meds take time. You can have a better life. Think positive thoughts.