Depressive disorder is your spirit,from god,negatively responding to the stimuli of a world governed by humans. God turned it all over to humans because our free will rejected god. Congratulations on reading the bible! That's where you will find the peace that passes all understanding. Your journey will be rewarded when you welcome Jesus into your heart and commune with him daily the same you would with a trusted friend. Most "unenlightened" acquaintances will think your talking to yourself, that's ok! Jesus will introduce you to the omnipotent omnipresent spirit of his and our heavenly father. Jesus is our brother. God is our father, eternally. There is nothing wrong with you, you have all your answers with them. Keep reading. When we pass, you will be with your brother and your father. Where it will be the way god intended his creation to be, perfect. Persevere, this life is tolerable with your newfound truth In the bible reading. Be humble, quiet, people will turn on you, share it only with believers, only challenge others to read, then ask that spirit to reveal it to them. They should see it. Some say seeing is believing but in truth believing is seeing. Ask Jesus to ask the father to see!!! And that all will see.