Die Well: Let’s Talk About Death First

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Let’s face it, 100 percent of us will die someday. But few people want to talk about it. Talking about death is like dealing with a horrible beast who can eat you alive in any second. However, conversations about future health care is so important that it can make you die well.


Why this is important



First, I’d like to tell you two stories.


The first story is about Laura, a patient who had many chronic conditions. Since no one asked her about her preferences for end-of-life care, she underwent many stressful and painful tests during the last several months of her life. She ended up dying alone and in terror. Her families were left feeling guilty.


The second story is about Mrs. Webster, who lost her ability to communicate because of a stroke. But before that stroke, she had already made it plain to her family what she wanted at the end of her life. She died of another stroke at age 73 and died peacefully.



Because of the fact that no one talked to them what they wanted, one third of seriously ill patients are receiving invasive treatments they don't want, according to studies. Now you see why talking about death can really comfort you in your last days.


Pamphlets can start the conversation


Many people may want to talk about death with their loved ones but don’t know how to start the conversation.


Don’t worry, there are now many end-of-life care pamphlets in hospitals and community centers, which include specific diseases like dementia or life-limiting illnesses. You can just take one pamphlet home and arrange some kind of family meeting.



According to the data, after receiving a pamphlet, 84% of people were willing to think about future care and 70% were clearer about what to talk about.


Taking about death can relieve your loved ones


You may also feel that starting this kind of conversation would upset your loved ones and destroy hope. But in fact, the opposite is true.



56% of people said they were actually relieved after having conversations about end-of-life care. "It makes it easier for me right now because now I don't have to guess," many people said like this.


To conclude, too many people die in a way they don’t want, and too many of their loved ones are left feeling guilty and uncertain. It is time to shift from not talking about death to talking about it. And it’s time to talk about the kind of care you want and don’t want. Every wish for end-of-life care should be known and respected.


8 Answers

These messages are for mutual support and information sharing only. Always consult your doctor before trying anything you read here.
I think to many stories of what happens after we die is leading cause of cpmfusion,fear, and inability to talk about the death issue.

Bandit J.T.Feench
Hey let there be no fear, it's just a transition to greater growth. And in our culture we don't really talk about it unless it's brought with fear. We fear what we can't see and fully understand. My feeling is that we should not fear it, we should talk and teach it, that's it's part of life, perhaps a final living part, but also a very good part. It's like stepping into the unknown, a very dark room, we fear because we don't know and can't see, but see now with beyond your eyesight, with your soul, know that there are things we just can't understand here, but that you'll know and understand immediately in the next realm...I saw it...for real, I know it's there. Another book to read, "Proof of Heaven" by Alexander... and death is not an issue, think of it as a Sunday feast with loving family...this is what they do in India, it's a happy celebration of going on, Hinduism is not a religion, it's a way of life, many things in their culture I don't accept, but the one thing I do agree with is that this life is very short, to try and live morally right, that your life will be reviewed by our creator...he sees you when your sleeping, he know when u r awake...lol
I always talk aout death. M y husband and little ones don't like it but I need to talk about it. I'd like my organs donated to whoever need them. I'd like to be cremated,my ashes thrown in the sea. I'd like to leave clean. And Id like to face it.
Well, not if your body is really dead! Once your SPIRIT/Soul has left the body, there is no pain.

My grandpa had kidney cancer that spread to his brain. When he said he didn't want to die in hospital and didn't want pain we brought him home with hospice nurse. He died a week later. I think those nurses were great. They set up the pain medicine and taught us how to use. If we had questions or problems we could find them day or night. And if we wanted them to come, they would come and check. They took care of everything.

Lucky for your grandpa. Mine had stomach cancer and died in hospital tho he didnt want to. He could barely talk at that time. My aunts and uncles didnt agree that he came home. They thought he was talking nonsense because he was too weak to think. But I KNEW he wasnt. I was just a kid. I couldnt help him.
Death seemed to be a scary topic to me when I was younger. It's so scary that I didn't want to mention it at all. Sometimes I thought about it at night, the idea of this beautiful shiny lovely smart "I" will go die some day, I was so scared I went for my mom for comfort.

Now I'm getting halfway of my life, I think. I start to accept death, I can think about it, I can talk about it. Well, it's good to live, maybe not that good. I'm tired.
To live is to suffer. I think. However mature people somehow learn to enjoy the joys and fight the sadness to thrive, instead of giving in to the pain in life. Some call it grow up. I don't know. All I know is to think more about happiness and less about bad things to comfort myself. Maybe it's instinct in human nature.
I have heard many near death experiences others have had and found them amazing and all very similar and peaceful. If given a choice they wouldn't have came back. That is how comforting the after life is. I have had the feeling that somehow death is going to be the most amazing part of life. Others near death experiences reinforce that. I am certain there is an after life and as wonderful as life can be at times when you are young and healthy it isn't as magical anymore when you are old and suffering. I would like you all to find the peace I have knowing that when the time comes it is going to be an amazing experience and if given a choice you wouldn't choose life in your body over the after life. It is probably best most people don't know this or everybody would choose to move on if the could. There must be a special purpose to our being here because those who have experienced a taste of the after life were sent back because of unfinished business here. Don't fear the unknown. Make your end of life care plans for your and your families sakes and rest assured all is going to be well. In fact it is going to be amazing!
I have heard that there are two kinds of people who dont fear death. one is knowing what's after death, and the other is choosing death with his own purpose. I dont think i belong to any of them but I just dont fear. However I still want to live my life and prove I live a wonderful and meaningful life.
When I was about ten I almost drown. The lifeguard told me later I was floating around like a rag on the bottom of the deep end of the pool, he was crying when I came to, he said he thought I was gone. But prior to being revived, I saw the whole event from about twenty feet above, I viewed what was happening from the opposite end, the shallow end, I heard and saw kids running about talking about the kid that drown. I watched them pumping the water out of my body and I came back. A close call. All those years ago now, but it gave me a strong faith in something beyond this life. As an adult I've studied religion and believe we just go to the next stage, we never die. We humans, so many species, as there are flowers and other life forms. And I believe in Jesus, the Son of God, and Buddha, Mohammad, and many, many more messengers that teach us of the good, and that in itself keeps the soul clean....not to worry, we'll see all our loved ones again with even a greater love, with God....
I didn't experience such things and don't really believe in religion. However I respect them, believe there is super natural power above humans, and try to be good so that good things happen to me. I believe in that. Everything you do, there's a paid back later.
In my study of science, life and what we call religious beliefs, it's like what Picasso said, "God's just another artist, he invented the elephant, the ant, he has no real style, he just goes around and tries different things" or something like that. I believe there's something we can't see, dimension's that are invisible, we search for them in Quantum physics. If we look at all the different species of different things there are humans aren't much different. I think at one time there were probably hundreds/thousands of different humans running around planet earth, now we have just a few left here. I believe that the creator loves us all, and there's probably other life forms on other planets. I kind of go along with the Hindu belief that we're reincarnated for more learning, also that the objective is to get it right and not have to return, but to stay in God's light. We really don't, but we believe, and I believe just opening our eyes is proof that life has a meaning, love your neighbor, love your enemy, put down judgement of others and we'd even have a better time here...I do believe that Jesus was God, and there have been many intelligent messengers and angels that guide us at times...heavy I know, but since I had the near death experience as a boy I see joining God and seeing my much missed mom and dad again as a happy end result. My take now is that perhaps it's all true, angels, ghosts, purgatory all of it maybe true. Each of us will know...keep searching and reading, God likes this, read Moody's book, "life after life"...Merry Christ Day
The reason ,I believe is that we all have the same created , like a persons signature is unique . Even trees and flowers share a reproductive cycle just like we have a reproductive cycle . Not of the same physical makeup , but concept is exactly the same . Everything on earth share some , many , categories, of minerals , vitamins , cells , oxygen,etc . There are only so many ingredients on earth . And all categories represent a particular species . We all need air, water ,dirt ,etc . Proves the same creator . Instinct ; all animals and bugs, fishes, etc have a built in instinct, to stay alive , we all have natural cycles , life cycles . They let us all continue as a species forever , Naturally. Humans are the ones that interrupt this cycle and destroy it . When something dies , completely ,it decomposes ,fertilizes the ground and /or feeds certain species . Before one is completely dead their subconscious mind is still aware and even up until after death ones hearing is still capable.so almost being dead could quite possibly our creator giving us peace before we fall in our state of total unconscious sleep . If we are no longer aware of anything we are dead . Our world has much intense emotions , love to depths we don’t even completely understand , but THRIVE on . Giving us peace and happiness. Anger that causes self destruction and of others ; then we alone as a species are givin a conscience toward making deductions between what’s right and wrong . Instilled in us only almost like an instinct , strive for what’s right . That’s our gift , but because of the first bad decision, many many more followed and corrupted our conscience, made a disease, and to our downfall of today . According to our creator, Jehova , our conscience has a cure , as well as our hearts ,which will effect all living things . Eating the right foods and taking in the organized way of loving , being healthy , and living in the way were created to live in the habitat we thrive in , here on earth ,
He created us from all the elements of the earth being our ingredients , he knows us individually and he will always remember personally each one of us. Do he promised a great resurrection , and a knowledge of no question to any man that he must and is ,of coarse the one that takes care of us . The way he intended us to be . So that we Fully thrive share love and have happiness Forever . Finally suffering will be gone in and on the earth , the stars and sadness in even HEAVEN , will be no more . Maybe the  memory of you in Jahova,was brought to the new system and that’s why it felt so wonderful . You’ll know for sure during and after the great resurrection. Jahova organization is real and ready to teach and make part of being able to live how we were created to live, in our natural habitat so to speak , it’s what’s good in every way . Try testing out Jahova love . Nothing is as fuffilling and satisfying as Jahova God
In my early 20s, I had a heart attack. When I walked into the hospital, no one cared. After seeing my EKG, the ER Dr. got nervous and started to insert tubes all over my body. When I came back they told me they couldn't even detect my blood pressure, said I was so close to death. Well, I didn't see anything, I didn't feel I went up to sky. I was lying there, for a short moment, I thought about my mom. Then I gradually lost my consciousness. Didn't feel pain, didn't feel scare, no emotion at all, guess you need energy to feel those. When energy leaves you, you are so calm, so peaceful. I don't think I'm scared of death anymore. But I do cherish life.
I got terribly drunk once. I collapsed in a public toilet after washing my hands. Woke up hours later in the hospital. I was conscious for a few seconds, vomiting, I didn't know where I was, couldn't open my eyes, but heard my friend calling my name crying (she's also drunk so that's just nervous I think). I felt I was so close to death and suddenly I felt so scared, so longing for life. Guess I still had energy then. But I never drank like that after.
I had a complete heart block. It took them 5 times of shocking me to get me back. I most certainly didn’t give any emotion to this life. I was blocked by a person stopping me and asking questions and when I finally looked at him I understood. I said I need to be calm and he smiled and I was back in my body, singing “Blue sky’s, nothing but blue sky’s all day long’ I was continually making jokes even though I needed to be shocked 4 more times. Morphine, shock. But here’s the thing: I have 2 more grandchildren, and 2 great grandsons on the way in May and July 2020! I have a special relationship with the 1st granddaughter born after my heart block.
Diarrhea comes and goes very tired tightness in chest head and lower back feet feel strange and toes have some numbness, eyesight cloudy and my face looks like I am hundred years old , just months ago , Healthy and my face was taut and youthful for my age ! Hair was long not thinning, could we be in some health study that we do not know about?